Your feminism isn’t worth shit if it doesn’t defend trans women

Anonymous demanded: So, I've been following you a while and feel like you and your partner are just amazing people, and I was wondering if I could ask some advice? I'm having major dysphoria and general shitty feelings tonight, and I was wondering, am I lesser in the LGBT*QIA community for dating my boyfriend and allowing people to call me by my biological genders pronouns? He's cis and I guess you could say hetero flexible, and as a genderqueer/non binary person who hasn't fully explored their identity (cont)

(cont) I was wondering if… I dunno if that makes me less valid as a queer person? I’m attracted to so many genders and I’ve NEVER felt like I was actually a girl, but… the fact I’m still constantly questioned and that my identity is essentially ignored because I’m dating a straight cis boy makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong… What do I do?”

You are never less valid as a queer person or as a human being for having loose pronouns or a loose gender identity. Never ever. Being queer is about self-identification. You and only you know who you are and how you feel. Are you straight? No? Then you’re queer and you’re part of the LGBTQIA community. Are you cis? No? Then you’re queer. There is no “amount of queerness” you have to be in order to be part of the community. There’s nothing wrong with being cis or dating cis people or even identifying as non-binary/trans while maintaining your assigned-at-birth gender pronouns. Sexuality and gender are fun like that, they’re for you to explore, and pronouns are for you to choose so that you are perceived as the gender that fits you, not as the gender other people assign to you. If you are okay with people calling you by your assigned-at-birth pronouns, then that’s your choice! And that doesn’t make you any less queer. Your sexuality and gender are inside you, they are part of you, and any labels slapped on them or over them don’t change who you are. 

As far as people invalidating your identity or “questioning your queerness,” honestly it’s none of their business or concern to do such things to you. That’s a big problem in the LGBTQIA community, not to mention the larger society. Everyone’s concerned with everyone fitting into the “binary” or acting a certain way so their “officially trans,” when really, it’s no one’s decision but your own. You are doing nothing wrong by being exactly who you are. And who you are may change! You may find a label you like, or you may decide you are happy with what you have, or you may completely transform into someone you wouldn’t even recognize! All of these are fine. And as far as your “hetero-flexible” boyfriend, maybe he hasn’t explored his sexuality or identity either. If he wants to be straight or be perceived as straight, that’s his call. It doesn’t change who you are and it doesn’t make you less of a person who is welcome in the LGBTQIA community. Best of luck to you in your journey of self-discovery!


  • me: i don't even care. i'm not going to talk about this anymore.
  • ...
  • me: and you know what else? [2000 word rant]

people are so trivial

don’t feel obligated to give someone your tumblr if you know them in real life. that’s your personal space. don’t feel obligated to follow the tumblr of someone you know. it’s just a blog, not a testimony of your friendship. 

Anonymous demanded: crawl out of my ass


don’t come to someone’s ask box all aggressive like ‘it’s funny that u say __ when ur friends with __ lol’ you’re just being a dick when they probably don’t fucking know about it

adharas demanded: you won't crawl out of my ass

send me an anon RIGHT NOW about why you hate me i will publish EVERYTHING that is said

maybe i’ll grow 4 inches and be as short as DJ cotrona lmao look at this